Hello!
Grace is my mothers' mother's name. It is my fourth name, and I'm new here....or am I?
I have been around for 29, almost 30 years now.
Some days I feel like a young blossom that opens up her rose cheeked flower leafs and looks at the world with awe...and some days I feel like an ancient woman that walks crooked with a bended back by the strains of her many days past.
But in the end, when I stand still and am moved by Life, I realize, I gotta say Grace.
To all the people, all the generations that came before me.
The names I carry, the legacy, the mystery, but also the struggles that are passed on from generation to generation; maybe I am not as new as I sometimes feel.
'My super sweet 3o' birthday bash is coming up.
September 13, keep that date open! (And the day after...)
But honestly, 30. Me? Really? How weird, how wonderful, how scary.
And what about past lives? My sub-conscious speaks strongly to me at night, how should I interpret? I don't know if I have been here before, if that exists. But some say I might have an old soul. If so, how come I seem so puzzled at times? About what to do with my life (Po Bronson, 'What should I do with my Life?'), about men (John Gray helping out a bit amongst others), about why people are so complicated, aggressive, oblivious, uncaring?
Well, you see, I am 30, but in my 'child-conscious' (Ingeborg Bosch, Illusions), still the same questions are whirling like a constant wind as I was 5. If Anthony Roberts calls himself 'The Why Guy' - I guess I'll call myself "The Why Girl" (or is it woman? ;) )
One thing has changed; my grown-up conscious has matured.
And boy do they fight a battle sometimes. I don't know who to believe...but the good news is, they're starting to understand each other, and team up. Guess I am on the right track!?!
Back to saying Grace; I've read several reports and accounts about how gratitude works positively for you. This, in my best moments, is such a anchor of peace in the mids of life. Gratitude and understanding. I know it takes very worldly work to make it a constant wave transmitting in your life. This is where the third kind of conscious comes in to my first blog. The concious that knows that all people in your life and anywhere, always do their best. THEIR best, to their development, to their state of awareness.
In my life, in these times, I want to strive to keep that third, wise conscious, that some will call God, Grace, the soul, the intelligence of the Universe, or perhaps even common sense - to keep that feeling, that base, as my source, my compass, my control center.
Because, how ever I tend to wish to portray a front (persona; which means mask in Latin) of centered relaxed controlled-ness to the outer world, my inner world can be like watching the 8 o'clock news on a rainy day with reports of a new civil war and old political problems while nature is wasting away by human hands.
That's one reason for this blog; to say hello, not only Grace. To truly say hello. Not only to share my world, my fuss, my buzz, but also to open up and perhaps you, others, will somehow benefit from it. By recognizing things, getting ideas. Or just joining in the fun. I realized, during a coaching course for young professionals that I recently attended (www.blik-opener.info), that my way, which is most definitely of the beaten track, can actually be of assistance to some others.
Don't we live in an amazing time. Even though some great-aunts of mine didn't want to marry until they were some odd 50 years of age, in the old days, me being single, unmarried was mostly not done.
I am amazed by all the toils and turns of this time. It's amazing to be alive. It's amazing. Amazing Grace.
So much freedom and possibility on this little piece of the earth. And at the same time, people are scared. Much is happening, it's chaos.
A few days ago, I woke up with a weird, very old deep feeling.
I don't have that often. I call it 'a part of my inner black-hole'; it was the feeling of all the suffering in the world. The awareness bulldozing into my safe harboured western life, that there is so much suffering and darkness.
I think I was extremely young, as a kid, when I started to be aware of this. And for a while, I think, my soul or what have you, protested to be here, on this earth. I think it is only of the last years that me, myself and I have really started to accept being here, with a task at hand. A task I so do feel, but do not clearly see yet.
Finding my way in all this, looking back, learning, being in this moment, daydreaming, making plans for the future, all this awe, amazement and adversity, doubt and being absolutely sure, I'd love to share with you. Though my inner knees are shaking, like a kid on a diving board, like a pen scared of drowning in a pot of ink, I am here. Something lead to something that lead to this.
Some days I feel like a young blossom that opens up her rose cheeked flower leafs and looks at the world with awe...and some days I feel like an ancient woman that walks crooked with a bended back by the strains of her many days past.
But in the end, when I stand still and am moved by Life, I realize, I gotta say Grace.
To all the people, all the generations that came before me.
The names I carry, the legacy, the mystery, but also the struggles that are passed on from generation to generation; maybe I am not as new as I sometimes feel.
'My super sweet 3o' birthday bash is coming up.
September 13, keep that date open! (And the day after...)
But honestly, 30. Me? Really? How weird, how wonderful, how scary.
And what about past lives? My sub-conscious speaks strongly to me at night, how should I interpret? I don't know if I have been here before, if that exists. But some say I might have an old soul. If so, how come I seem so puzzled at times? About what to do with my life (Po Bronson, 'What should I do with my Life?'), about men (John Gray helping out a bit amongst others), about why people are so complicated, aggressive, oblivious, uncaring?
Well, you see, I am 30, but in my 'child-conscious' (Ingeborg Bosch, Illusions), still the same questions are whirling like a constant wind as I was 5. If Anthony Roberts calls himself 'The Why Guy' - I guess I'll call myself "The Why Girl" (or is it woman? ;) )
One thing has changed; my grown-up conscious has matured.
And boy do they fight a battle sometimes. I don't know who to believe...but the good news is, they're starting to understand each other, and team up. Guess I am on the right track!?!
Back to saying Grace; I've read several reports and accounts about how gratitude works positively for you. This, in my best moments, is such a anchor of peace in the mids of life. Gratitude and understanding. I know it takes very worldly work to make it a constant wave transmitting in your life. This is where the third kind of conscious comes in to my first blog. The concious that knows that all people in your life and anywhere, always do their best. THEIR best, to their development, to their state of awareness.
In my life, in these times, I want to strive to keep that third, wise conscious, that some will call God, Grace, the soul, the intelligence of the Universe, or perhaps even common sense - to keep that feeling, that base, as my source, my compass, my control center.
Because, how ever I tend to wish to portray a front (persona; which means mask in Latin) of centered relaxed controlled-ness to the outer world, my inner world can be like watching the 8 o'clock news on a rainy day with reports of a new civil war and old political problems while nature is wasting away by human hands.
That's one reason for this blog; to say hello, not only Grace. To truly say hello. Not only to share my world, my fuss, my buzz, but also to open up and perhaps you, others, will somehow benefit from it. By recognizing things, getting ideas. Or just joining in the fun. I realized, during a coaching course for young professionals that I recently attended (www.blik-opener.info), that my way, which is most definitely of the beaten track, can actually be of assistance to some others.
Don't we live in an amazing time. Even though some great-aunts of mine didn't want to marry until they were some odd 50 years of age, in the old days, me being single, unmarried was mostly not done.
I am amazed by all the toils and turns of this time. It's amazing to be alive. It's amazing. Amazing Grace.
So much freedom and possibility on this little piece of the earth. And at the same time, people are scared. Much is happening, it's chaos.
A few days ago, I woke up with a weird, very old deep feeling.
I don't have that often. I call it 'a part of my inner black-hole'; it was the feeling of all the suffering in the world. The awareness bulldozing into my safe harboured western life, that there is so much suffering and darkness.
I think I was extremely young, as a kid, when I started to be aware of this. And for a while, I think, my soul or what have you, protested to be here, on this earth. I think it is only of the last years that me, myself and I have really started to accept being here, with a task at hand. A task I so do feel, but do not clearly see yet.
Finding my way in all this, looking back, learning, being in this moment, daydreaming, making plans for the future, all this awe, amazement and adversity, doubt and being absolutely sure, I'd love to share with you. Though my inner knees are shaking, like a kid on a diving board, like a pen scared of drowning in a pot of ink, I am here. Something lead to something that lead to this.
It's amazing to be here.
Let me say Grace for being here.
Amazing Grace.
Let me say Grace for being here.
Amazing Grace.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That sav’d a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears reliev’d;
How precious did that grace appear,
The hour I first believ’d!
Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
(...)
John Newton
John Newton
The UN-answered Prayer - Sufi Poem
I asked for strength and
God gave me difficulties to make me strong
I asked for wisdom and
God gave me problems to learn to solve
I asked for prosperity and
God gave me a brain & brawn to work
I asked for courage and
God gave me dangers to overcome
I asked for love and
God gave me people to help
I asked for favors and
God gave me opportunties
I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed
With Grace, we'll all get where we need to be; home. Every step of the way, one step at a time. 'Till next time that I'll be sharing my baby steps, mammoth steps and quantum leaps.
Encantado and be well.
